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i have finished writing my essay, but because i do not a native english friend and have no experience in writing personal statements for US universities, i needed someone to proofread them. i would be very garteful if you could correct the mistakes and show the wrong or hard-to-understand parts. i would also love to know your opinion about the grade of my essays.
WHY POLICY? WHY HARRIS?
It has always been very hard for me to decide what to choose, however, whatever I chose, I could not stand being the second. I have finished boarding school and academic lyceum with highest GPA, and still have the highest grades in the department. Nevertheless, even starting my first university year, I never knew who I want to be.
During the university years, I learned and discussed a lot about international relations, conflicts, global issues but never felt them for real. When I came back to my little town where minority group lives, I rediscovered the life of simple people. Talking to my friends back from elementary school, to my relatives going to work in foreign countries to feed their families, I felt so weak. In many parts of the country, people do not know their basic rights, fooled and discriminated by government officials. This was the fact that shocked me. During my internship in one of the political parties of Uzbekistan, I realized how they are far from the reality and process-focused rather than results, and this was the case with many public organizations. At that moment, I understood whom I want to be and every challenge, and failure that followed me through these years brought me to this point and I have never been so sure about my decision. I believe that my future is about giving people chance to live a better life, fight against injustice in societies and reshape the world.
I was impressed by the diversity of your community and the faculty members with real experience in NGOs and humanitarian actions and publications regarding the core problems that many politicians ignore. I really believe that Harris could be a great place for me to learn from the best and make a change in my community.
The biggest challenge you have ever faced.
I remember the last day of the submission of memorials to Jessup moot court competition, each consisting of more than ten thousand words: right after the classes at university I sat in front of my computer and spent more than twelve hours with no rest and eating. My hands started to tremble, whole body shook, eyes flushed. It was the four month of hard work and researching.
It was the first time ever, when my university was participating in this simulation. I had to walk through every auditorium, announce and gather team members. Members started to leave and ignore calls seeing the load of the work and we lost the coaches. I took matters into my hands and started the preparation with only minimum number of participants and had to get most of the questions and help with their researches by periodically revising and correcting, with no proper experience and only having one-semester-international-law course. During the whole period, I was away in Russia as an exchange student and it was quite a challenge to follow their work.
After all, from all three new teams we were the only one to be able to submit the memorials and proceed to international rounds as an “exhibition team”. Even during the first day of oral pleadings we did not know quite well how the process goes and made severe mistakes, but going to the last rounds we made an unbelieve progress and shocked all the judges.
During this quite challenging period, we went through hundreds of resources concerning the jurisdictions of ICJ; humanitarian actions of UN, CRSC; and hundreds of former cases and upcoming threats to humankind; and how millions of people are suffering from them daily. They totally changed my world and brought me to the way I am on today.
One Global conflict that puzzles you the most
Being situated in the heartland of Asia, surrounded by four nuclear-weapon states and two permanent members of the UN, Afghanistan became a point where collided the interests of top superpowers resulting in decades of proxy wars with millions of civilians being killed and displaced.
Afghan nation is one of the nations that has never been invaded fully. First wars for Afghanistan were three Anglo-afghan wars between British Empire and Afghan Khans to prevent Russia from advancing to India and win “the Great Game”. However, all three wars ended up disastrously for British Empire. British lost about ten thousand people in the first and twice as more in the second war with nearly no any results. In the third war, Ottoman Empire also joins the game. This time Afghans fight for their rights on international arena and invade the British–Indian army. Afghanistan became one of the first countries to recognize the Soviet Russia and their relations continue until 1979 when Soviets invade Afghanistan.
Even though the war in the territory of Afghanistan started in 1979 when troops of Soviet Union entered the country, main opposition parties had already been formed. However, next nine-year war was not only between these two parties. Mujahedeen who were supported by USA, China, UK, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia fought against Democratic Party of Afghanistan and Soviet Union, causing the death of nearly two million people and displacement of another millions. Youth of the dead people in Afghanistan during these years started to be trained in the camps of Pakistan and resulted in the appearance of a new terroristic extremal power in the state in 1996, and USSR left the country with no results either.
Starting from 1996, Taliban occupied 90 percent of all territory of the country. After 9/11, USA started to fight against Taliban and support official government. In 2014, NATO stopped fights because of the failure with estimated number of deaths of 150 000 people, of which nearly 40 000 civilians.
Two main powers in the country currently are the official government led by Ashraf Ghani and Taliban lead by Hibatullah Akhundzada. At the moment, official government controls only 55 percent of the whole territory while the influence of Taliban reduced to 12 percent and one third of the state does not belong to any side and out of the control. In 12/02 started the first peaceful negotiations with no results yet for a week; however, this is a big step towards the negotiations and understanding that no external interference can solve a problem and the nationals should be the only side to discuss and solve their problems. Moreover, it gives a big understanding that not recognizing Taliban for this period, as a legitimate power was a huge mistake.
What puzzles me the most is that if any power wants to provide peace in a territory, they should fight against the supporters that are providing all the sources, rather than causes.
Why GSPIA?
4.Ever since I know myself, I remember being not satisfied with the things happening around me, as if things do not work in a proper way and time goes very slow. According to my mom, I started walking at a very early age and was very active. Wherever I go, I could not stand being the second. I do not know something that I have not tried at primary school: I was the best artist, best mathematics student in the whole district, my stories and poems were published in the kids magazine, participated in the drama club and was one of the best Taekwondo students in the town. I started to speak little English when no one even had an idea in our town why one should ever learn a foreign language other than Russian. When parents understood that this school is not good enough for me, they sent me to a boarding middle school in the city, where I had a huge advancement in terms of my language and scientific skills. At academic lyceum, I started drawing lessons again, played piano but after going to humanitarian subjects a year after, I had to focus on entering the university.
At university, I organized my club, participated and organized MUNs, conferences, seminars and festivals; volunteered in every possible way, had the highest GPA, won several national student competitions with our team despite the lack of support from university. I took our team to national rounds of JESSUP moot court competition on International law for the first time in the history of our university, being away in Russia as an exchange student. Then we could advance to Washington DC as an exhibition team. I was lucky to attend seminars and volunteer in the only private think tank of the country and get interested in the work. However, during this whole period I could never decide whom I want to be in the future.
My life changed totally, when I came back home for quarantine. I rediscovered the life of simple people of my country and was shocked how everything is different in towns. Many people were being the victims of bureaucracy and corruption, not knowing their basic rights, being discriminated or fooled by their own governments. During my internship in one of the political parties of Uzbekistan I realized how process focused they are rather then results. It was the moment, when I realized that my future is there: giving people chance to live a better life, fight against injustice in societies, get what they deserve, reshape the world and make it a better place to live. All the knowledge I got were meant to help ordinary people.
Now writing this, I realize how it has been hard for me to get out of the little town in the middle of nowhere, make my way towards the upside with no help, sometimes falling, sometimes getting up. Everything I learned and did brought me here, where I can see my true myself and be sure that made the best decision ever. I cannot image the amount of the failures, but I can imagine how strong I got every time I stood up.
The program including both international and public affairs was something that perfectly fits my future carrier plans. Your courses focused on human security can provide the unique chance to learn the conflicts around the globe and reshape the societies. Besides, your faculty staff with experience in NGOs, UNICEF and humanitarian actions really impressed me. I was really blown away by the ideas of the professors Jennifer Murtazashvili in her book of “Informal order and state in Afghanistan”. Her braveness to work in Afghanistan and other central Asian countries motivated me to take action. I am considering to develop think tanks in my country as a means of tackling social problems where passionate people come together to change the communities and I believe the University of Pittsburg can be the very start of my way towards a better future.
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Our essay writers are graduates with diplomas, bachelor’s, masters, Ph.D., and doctorate degrees in various subjects. The minimum requirement to be an essay writer with our essay writing service is to have a college diploma. When assigning your order, we match the paper subject with the area of specialization of the writer.
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